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Ice-4-Man



Joined: 18 Jun 2003
Posts: 3874
Location: Borås

PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pelle och Erik var tvillingbröder. En dag ville sig ödet så att Eriks fru dog samma dag som Pelles båt sjönk. Några dagar senare träffade Pelle en tant som trodde att han var Erik.

- Så ledsamt att höra om din förlust.
- Nja, faktiskt är jag bara klad att jag blivit kvitt henne. Hon var ju genomrutten och underdelen var fullständigt slut och luktade gammal fisk. Hon läckte hela tiden och hade en stor spricka där bak och ett jättehål där fram som blev större varje gång jag använde henne. Det som tog knäcken på henne var när jag hyrde ut henne till fyra killar som ville ha lite kul. Idioterna försökte att komma i henne alla samtidigt så hon sprack på mitten men det är väl inte hela världen. Jag får väl leta i annonserna efter en ny.


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[FreezeBitch]Lupus
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 23:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ice-4-Man wrote:
Pelle och Erik var tvillingbröder. En dag ville sig ödet så att Eriks fru dog samma dag som Pelles båt sjönk. Några dagar senare träffade Pelle en tant som trodde att han var Erik.

- Så ledsamt att höra om din förlust.
- Nja, faktiskt är jag bara klad att jag blivit kvitt henne. Hon var ju genomrutten och underdelen var fullständigt slut och luktade gammal fisk. Hon läckte hela tiden och hade en stor spricka där bak och ett jättehål där fram som blev större varje gång jag använde henne. Det som tog knäcken på henne var när jag hyrde ut henne till fyra killar som ville ha lite kul. Idioterna försökte att komma i henne alla samtidigt så hon sprack på mitten men det är väl inte hela världen. Jag får väl leta i annonserna efter en ny.


Laughing Laughing

Jag fattar inte? Vad har den där båten med saken att göra?

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[GTI]Quest
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Joined: 01 Oct 2002
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Location: Piteå för det mesta iaf.

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 12:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Vad är skillnaden mellan en kvinna och en rottweiler?
Läppstift.

Varför har kvinnor bröst?
För att män ska prata med dem.

Varför blundar kvinnor när man har sex med dem?
De tål inte att se en man ha trevligt.

Vad har du gjort för fel om din fru kommer ut ur köket och skäller på dig?
Gjort kedjan för lång.

Varför är alltid bruden klädd i vitt?
För det ser bättre ut om diskmaskinen passar till ugnen och kylskåpet.

Varför skapade Gud lesbiska kvinnor?
Så att feminister inte ska kunna fortplanta sig.

Varför kallar kvinnor det för 'PMS'?
'Galna ko-sjukan' var redan upptaget.

Varför fjärtar män mer än kvinnor?
För att kvinnor inte håller tyst länge nog för att bygga upp ett tryck.

Vad kallas det när kvinnor är paralyserade från midjan och neråt?
Giftermål.

Varför dör män före sina fruar?
För att de vill.

Vad är skillnaden mellan en fru och en flickvän?
25 kilo ungefär.

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Fren
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 17:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Läses på bred skottska


A journalist from a Glasgow was visiting Greenock, a small village a couple of miles outside Glasgow.
He met with the towns folks to learn more about their lives.
Especially he met one gentleman by the name Angus McGregor and this McGregor gave the journalist a tour round the village.
They came up to this great barn and McGregor explained:
"I build this barn with my own two hands, but do they call me McGregor - the barn builder? NO!"
They continued down the road and after a while they walked across a large and tall stone bridge. McGregor said:
"I build this bridge with my own two hands, but do they call me McGregor - the bridge builder? NO!"
When they came into the little town McGregor pointed at the town church. A mejestic building. Nearly 60 feet tall.
McGregor said:
"I build this church with my own two hands, but do they call me McGregor - the church builder? NO!"
"But you fuck ONE goat...!"

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Fren
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 15:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bröllopstestet

Jag var en väldigt lycklig man.
Min underbara flickvän och jag hade varit tilsammans i över ett år så vi beslutade oss för att gifta oss.
Det var bara en sak som bekymrade mig: Hennes yngre syster.

Min framtida svägerska var 22 år, klädde sig i VÄLDIGT tighta minikjolar och bar sällan BH. Hon brukade alltid "råka" böja sig ner när jag var i närheten och jag fick alltid se "det bästa hos henne". Jag var säker på att hon gjorde det med flit eftersom hon aldrig gjorde så inför någon annan.

En dag ringde Min blivande frus syster upp mig och bad mig koma och kontrollera bröllopsinbjudningarna.
Hon var ensam hemma när jag kom och hon viskade att hon hade hade starka, åtråvärda känslor för mig hon inte kunde stå emot. Hon sa att hon ville ha mig bara för en gång innan jag ingick det livslånga löftet med hennes syster.

Jag blev totalt chockad och kunde inte få fram ett ord.
Hon sa: "Jag går upp till sovrummet, och om du vill ha ett sista äventyr så är det bara att komma upp och ta mig"

Jag var som paralyserad då jag såg henne gå upp för trapporna. Jag bara stod där för ett ögonblick innan jag vände mig om mot ytterdörren och gick ut för att begemig raka vägen till min bil.

När jag kom ut möttes jag av min blivande hustru och hela min framtida familj. Alla applåderade!
Med tårar i sitt ansikte omfamnades ja av min svärfar som sa: "Vi är jätteglada för att du klarade vårat lilla prov! Vi kunde inte hoppas på en bättre man för vår dotter. Välkommen till familjen!"

Och sensmoralen för denna historia är...



Förvara ALLTID kondomerna i bilen!

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Fren
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 15:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Postar denna som .jpg istället.
Orkar inte mecka ihop bilden osv osv



namnlös.JPG
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namnlös.JPG



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Ice-4-Man



Joined: 18 Jun 2003
Posts: 3874
Location: Borås

PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 17:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fren wrote:
Postar denna som .jpg istället.
Orkar inte mecka ihop bilden osv osv


Ahahaha, bäst idag Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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SilentPredator



Joined: 01 Oct 2002
Posts: 4882
Location: Malmö City !

PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 19:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ice-4-Man wrote:
Fren wrote:
Postar denna som .jpg istället.
Orkar inte mecka ihop bilden osv osv


Ahahaha, bäst idag Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing



Riktigt bra haha Laughing

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Ice-4-Man



Joined: 18 Jun 2003
Posts: 3874
Location: Borås

PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 21:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Finsk fakta!

Alla finnar bär kniv!
Självlart, vad skall man annars pära?
Inse att en hagelpössa para är klumpig och vilka roblem får man inte, när man skall hämta ut pengar på panken.

Alla finnar slåss jämt och ständigt!
Vi låss inte jämt.
Vi måste hinna pasta och supa också.

Varför bastar alla finnar?
Varför lösa på dushvatten, när man kan vettas bort siten?

Finnar svär hela tiden!
I helvete heller! Perkele är ingen svordom, det är ett kraftuttryck.

Varför bär alla finnar gummistövlar och träningsoverall?

Man vet aldrig om det pörjar regna på pjuttävligen.

Alla finnar är bra på packhoppning!
Nej, para dom som inte är pra på hokkey, rally, vormel 1, längdskitor.

Varför emigrerade finnar till Sverige, om det nu är så bra i Finland?
Vi var tvungna att ageera, så att vi inte skulle få ett u-land som granne.
Tessutom ville vi tela med oss av våra kunskaper om hokki,mopiltelefoner,
tesign och arkitektur...

Finnar dricker bara Koskenkorva!
Inte para, vi ricker Finlandia, KOFF och Lapin Kulta också.

Finnar kan inte blanda groggar!
Jodå!
Vegetarian mix: 8 cl Koskenkorva lägg i en ärta, låt tra i vyra sekunter, ta port ärtan, trick!
White Christmas: 12 cl Koskenkorva och fem troppar tippex.

Är bastu och sauna samma sak?
Pastu är för svenskar, något där finnar byter om.
Sauna är där finnar pastar.




0 grader > Destillerat vatten fryser.
Vattnet i Vanda å blir lite tjockare.

-5 grader > Folk i Kalifornien håller på att förfrysa.
Finländarna grillar den sista korven före vintern.

-10 grader > Engelsmännen sätter på värmen i sina hus.
Finländarna tar på sig långärmad tröja.

-20 grader > Australienarna flyr från Mallorca.
Finländaran slutar fira midsommar, hösten har kommit.

-30 grader > Folk i Grekland dör av kyla och försvinner från jordens yta.
Finländarna börjar torka tvätt inomhus.

-40 grader > Paris krakelerar sönder i kylan.
Finländarna köar vid korvkiosken.

-50 grader > Isbjörnarna börjar evakuera nordpolen.
Finska armén flyttar sin vinteröverlevnadskurs till senare i väntan på riktigt vinterväder.

-60 grader > Korvatunturi förfryser.
Finländarna hyr video och stannar inne.

-70 grader > Den falska jultomten flyttar söderut.
Finländarna blir frustrerade eftersom det inte går att lagra Koskenkorva utomhus.
Finska armén drar ut på vinteröverlevnadskurs.

-183 grader > Mikroberna i maten överlever inte.
De finska korna klagar över att mjölkarnas händer känns kalla.

-273 grader > ALL atombaserad rörelse stannar.
Finländaran börjar säga till varandra:
"Perkele, vad kallt det känns ute idag."
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2023 16:28 pm    Post subject: High Rated Packaging Equipment Info Reply with quote

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2023 18:21 pm    Post subject: Top Suggestions For Selecting Crypto Software Reply with quote

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